Diary of a Madman: Fantastical musings on a lonesome Autumn eve

By: Scott | October 16th, 2009

I spent a very good year with Bayer and I certainly don’t want to spoil anything about that time.

-Bruno Labbadia

I’m sorry, what was that? Which year would you be talking about BL? August through December of 2008? Because from what I recall, the bottom half of the 08/09 season was not good and should have been enough to spoil the contract year for you. And if the results on the table weren’t enough, losing the confidence of the squad by spring thaw ought to have put a damper on things. C’mon, Bruno. Fess up. Your time at- and suspect departure from- Leverkusen is not, as you say, “water under the bridge.” Not unless you’re standing on a rainbow bridge overlooking unicorns and lollipops and dwarves making balloon animals for beautiful women too naïve to judge you.

art.labbadia Labbadia would like us all to believe that tomorrow’s clash between Hamburg and Leverkusen comes without any animosity between himself and the club. I don’t speak for them, but from a supporter’s perspective I’m sure I’m not alone in saying there is an unfulfilled grudge-match to be held between the Werkself and anyone Bruno Labbadia happens to be coaching. In this case, we get the added bonus of having it play out against our partners-on-points at the top of the table. That latter reason alone would make the trip to Hamburg one no footy fan would want to miss. The fact that we’re taking on last year’s failed coach upgrades the match to Doozy status. Let’s recap the facts as they exist in my own head (which sometimes differs from how they exist everywhere else.)

skibbe-
Michael Skibbe was unceremoniously run out of Leverkusen after the Werkself dropped to 7th place on the final, crucial matchday of the 07/08 Bundesliga season. I didn’t loathe Skibbe and didn’t blame him entirely for things having gone afoul.

Heralded in as his replacement, Bruno Labbadia: the coach who never says die. His flowing locks and jazzy, pitch-side garb looked sharp for the cameras and, for five months, so did the team he was nurturing. Then came the Rückrunde and our temporary move to Düsseldorf for home matches.

It started as something of a joke. “Oh, will we never win at LTU? Ha-ha!”

Soon it was “The curse of LTU.”

Eventually people noticed it wasn’t just the venue there was a problem with. Our matches against top clubs or Pokal opponents were going swimmingly but more often than not we looked confounded on the pitch. Out of sync. Easily discouraged. Unable to score. There were murmurings. The players had met to air their concerns. They didn’t have faith in what their coach was telling them to do.

Management assured us that Bruno was our guy and wasn’t going anywhere, even if we didn’t finish in Europe. And when we missed out on Europe through League achievement, finishing worse than we had under Skibbe, we were assured Bruno was going nowhere even if we lost the Pokal final.

Meanwhile, Martin Jol was packing his bags; high-tailing it from Hamburg to better-paying pastures. Hamburg was without a coach.

We lose to Werder Bremen in the Pokal final.

12426687800 “We are still convinced that Bruno is the right trainer for us.” says management.

Labbadia, however, says it’s difficult to talk about the future. Things at Leverkusen need to be changed. Oh, and also, how about you guys let me out of my contract?

Word comes that Hamburg are talking to Labbadia. There’s an exchange of funds and Bruno is on a North-bound train.

Things happen so fast in football, don’t they?

Or was the ball moving before we plebes watching from the outside caught a glimpse?

Is it not possible that Bruno had made up his mind to walk away from the squad ready to see him go even before he travelled to Berlin on May 31, 2009, and that all he needed to do was somehow get out of that contract he was legally bound to see out through 2010? Could it be that I am suggesting to you- openly and without a shred of actual, incidental or anecdotal evidence; safe from claims of libel only because I hereby state that this is all conjecture and written (maybe) without me even believing it myself, (possibly) just for entertainment purposes- that Bruno Labbadia went to the Pokal final intending to do whatever he could to lead the Werkself to a loss?

Yes. That’s precisely what I’m suggesting. And now he must pay.

Oh, there is indeed water under that bridge, Bruno. And it’s cold and murky and deep and it stinks of schemes and wretched things. And if the Bundesliga gods are Just and Right then come tomorrow’s final whistle, Bruno, you will be flailing in those waters. Your pleas as useless as the flimsy limbs of your sidelined strikers. And even then, my friend, we will still only be but one match closer to done with you.

Wow. I’m gonna be some kinda pissed if we lose this one.